Thursday, May 28, 2009

You're Beautiful... you're beautiful... you're beautiful it's true!

Have you ever had an identity crisis? I think I've had two... I'm in one now... I can't tell if I'm becoming a new person or just need to find my way home. Any advice here? Anybody, anybody? :) A lot of the things that used to make me a better person are teetering on the edge of something... and at the same time, some new things are entering in which are lovely in their own way too.

In the midst of all this, I am still a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister... again I want the desert island ever so. So much so that you shouldn't get me near the ocean now or I might make a swim for it. I know this stuff comes in seasons. I know if you talk to someone over 60 they will tell you to just hang in there that everything pans out... or as the Bible says, "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose in Christ Jesus."

I feel a bit lost in dreamland now... not very rooted or grounded, yet going no where. I am lonely, but I don't want to be around people. I am tired, but I don't want to rest. I am out in the open, but hidden away. A freak maybe... The rest of you look great though :) Real life is a bit unappealing to me now... Bills, illness, children leaving the home, children left to raise, marital trials, family issues... oi vey!!! My head is down... I am plowing right now... can't seem to get back in the rat race... tough stuff... anyone else struggling?

Arise oh dreamer... wipe the slumber from your eyes! Mmmmmm... easier said than done. I know one thing I need to do... above the tread mill, above the daily chores... I need to be grateful. God hates ungratefulness... He surely does. Maybe this is a one day at a time, one thank you at a time kind of thing. So here I go... thanks for bearing me out.

My God!!! Thank You!
For redeeming me, first and foremost!
For a husband who has loved me deeply and loved You most of all.
For children who are well and safe and beautiful.
For friends who put up with my awkwardness.
For a home with four walls and a roof and all the extras.
For forgiveness of sins!
For Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!!!
And lastly, for HOPE!!!

I want to be with God in Heaven forever and I want all of you to be there too cause I love you ALL! Truly! I beg you each to seek Him. Without Him there is nothing real, nothing that lasts!!! Grab hold. You will still be you... not crazy like me... that's my thing :) You will just be saved and on a path that leads to life. One prayer... reach out to Him, He loves you, He created you and He created you for His good pleasure. Romans 5:8

1 comment:

  1. Phew...
    deep breaths. close eyes. keep trucking.
    You are loved!