Saturday, May 9, 2009


Feels wrong to blog on a Saturday... like I'm for sure not gonna have anything to say... hmmm...

Just did the dishes... again! Paul mowed the yard yesterday... again! Do you ever get the feeling like you're just spinning your wheels? Doing the same repetitive things over, and over and over again... repetitively! :) Washing dishes used to drive me bananas. We lived in AZ. and I would let my mind wander and dream about living in Franklin TN. I would wash a dish for like 15 minutes before I realized what was going on. You know how long it takes to do a sink full that way?!

I figured out the secret a while back... Don't think. I know that sounds impossible, but seriously... a person like me could go insane with all these thoughts! I remember an episode of Get Smart where 86 had to turn off his thoughts or... can't remember... something bad... and he succeeded. I have never forgotten that! I wanted that super power! My husbands G'ma had a trick that's the closest I've come. When she couldn't sleep, she would see each thought on a blackboard and erase it. It works for me... erasing fast and furiously... course then there is chalk dust everywhere in my dreams, but nothings perfect. Try it.

This world is decomposing... That brand new dishwasher is on it's way out the minute you use it... it's not getting any newer... same with your awesome BMW... er Pinto. And from the minute a baby is born, it begins to die... God willing that kid will have 90 years, but every day is a step towards eternity. Lately I've had such a hard time focusing... too much Facebook time, no doubt! But I can't help it... I love all of you... I really do. From my dearest friends, to people I never really got along with, to people who I couldn't have less in common with if I were an Alien (shut up.) I really love you.

Reading my Bible every night again has been helping, but I'm changing so much... a Christian's evolution :) I used to be very black and white... still am, don't get me wrong... I am a one main view kinda person. But I am learning to take God out of the box. He covers so many areas... He leaves nothing untouched... like the Dalits... the "Untouchables" in India... total outcasts. He's touching them. How could any area of my heart be left untouched? If He is able to do so much with so many... how could he not do an infinite amount with one? Gives me hope. I'm always needing hope.

The truth is, I'm dying... so are you... why haven't you surrendered to Him yet? You could blame the church... and every Christian you've ever met, but I've told you, they're not any different from you... just people who need Jesus... and are supposed to be loving on you... on each other. When you gonna let Him expose and reveal your heart to you? How you gonna hide from God forever? You can't. You can turn off your thoughts... but He's still there, thinking of you whether you're thinking of Him or not. This stuff... no matter how poorly presented or represented... is real. Look into Him... let Him look into you. If you're like me... you've got some stuff in there that's still untouched.

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