Tuesday, May 5, 2009

"The Pit of Dispair!"

To quote the "Impressive Clergyman" from The Princess Bride, today I am going to write about "Mayowidge." I have had so many people ask me about my marriage lately... could it be because I spend an odd amount of time on Facebook (and by odd I mean all my time.) I don't have many secrets. Paul used to be private... then he married me and realized it was a luxury he would no longer enjoy... he's a lot more open now too and I think he kind of likes that.

Paul and I met in high school (shout out to our friends!) We were best friends for 2 years before we decided to date. As a matter of fact, I used to set him up with my friends. He assures me he has wiped all memory of that from his data banks :) It was hard to make the shift from friend to love interest. I have always been a little emotionally stunted so he had his work cut out for him. He says he fell in love with me the first time he heard me sing... so Little Mermaid like, aw! I would date a guy and immediately break up with him. As a matter of fact, I never had a boy break up with me first. I once dumped a guy right before a dance... he was very mad... but he freaked me out. He was paying too much attention to me. Ick! My friends told me he punched a dent in the bathroom door... Really? How Valley Girl like. Hmmm... I kinda liked him again for a second... but no!!! Never go backwards.

Paul and I will be married 23 years this month. Some days it feels like 43! Ha! We were 18 and 17 when we tied the knot. I'm always afraid people will think I got pregnant, but no, nothing like that. I especially don't want people thinking that's why we got married. We strove to keep it as PG as possible which isn't easy at that age, especially when you are ready to spend your life with someone. They say divorce is just as bad or even more prevalent in the church then it is in the secular world... wow. We had a friend once who sat next to an Satanist on an airplane. When he realized our friend was a Christian he said, "Do you want to know the #1 thing we're praying for? We're praying that Christian marriages will break up." I believe it. Do you want some good marital advise? Then go to Dr. Phil. I personally, think marriage is harder now then it ever has been. You wanna hear the inspiring advise I tell myself in times like this? You might want to get a pen and jot this down. Ready? "Muddle through." Did you get a chill? Touching... powerful... lovely words... muddle through.

I'll tell you why I say that. Everyone goes through hard times in their marriage. It's a given. If someone says their marriage is always awesome... I submit these words to them, "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Even when you are going through the lowest times... one good moment will pop up and when it does you have to hold it with both hands. I have always told our kids to marry their best friend... that way even when you don't feel the love, you'll always want your best friend close by. Paul and I are lucky to have that bond. The Bible says a 3 fold cord (a braid) is not easily broken... God, Paul, me. We can feel Him holding things together even when we are struggling. Just like life, there are many hills and valleys... like that roller coaster scene from Parenthood. When your in a valley... just get through it! If divorce is an option... then you will not see that hill top again. You will not come out stronger then you were before you went in. Do what you gotta do to keep on going and if all you can do is muddle... then muddle through. The hilltops in sight don't give up. And when you see me... throw a little encouragement my way too. :)


  1. Good words. :-) My Pastor once said to me, "what if the Lord comes back tomorrow? Don't you want to have made it that last day?" It could be tomorrow, so hang in there today.