Wipe that "L" off my forehead, please. I'm the one who put it there.

When I was in Jr. High I wanted to take acting classes in Tucson, AZ. They were very expensive, but I still held out some hope. I bugged my mom about it and she said my dad said "No." Now, I don't know if this really came from my dad or if my mom told my dad this and he agreed, but she said my father didn't want me to get into acting because I had a hard time with rejection. Hmmm. I didn't even know that about myself. I was like, "I do?"

Now as I have gotten older, I am pretty firm in my understanding that I have a big (strike that), a huge (not big enough), a massive problem with rejection. As a matter of fact, if I am trying to resolve a problem with a friend and they are not quick to deal with it, everything escalates in my mind to the point that if I don't cut things off, I will go crazy coco-puffs. I have actually ended friendships, not because I don't love the other person, but because the rejection hurts so deeply I can't function until I have closure. I guess my Dad had a valid point.

Have you noticed that everything on Earth is a copy. Coffee is a substitute for energy... and a good nights sleep. Porn and sleeping around is a copy of the gift of a loving relationship and intimacy given by God for marriage. Revering movie stars, music stars and basically anything on a stage is a replacement for worshiping and adoring our loving Creator. I think that's what Satan has twisted inside of many of us... I know I'm not the only Earthling with this rejection issue. I think that basic desire within us was put there to desire being accepted by Christ... being welcomed in to Heaven when we see Him for the first time. I think that's why people like me struggle with our salvation. I know that my salvation was paid for. I know I can't earn it, even though at times I have tried. I know it is a free gift and I have accepted that gift... and still, at times those thoughts enter in... being sent away from God for eternity is the ultimate rejection. I have loved Him my whole life... I just want to be with Him forever and to be sent away is a thought I cannot even contemplate.

These things are my issues, I know you have your own, and God is working them out of us. But the overwhelming sad thing is... some will be rejected. (Oh the agony of that thought!) Not because they weren't good people, or because they weren't special to God... but because when He offered them a chance to get to know Him, to receive this gift that would save them from eternal death... they rejected Him... an irony that holds no humor. Oh God, I pray today, if anyone at all reads this, and doesn't know how much You love them, that You will reveal Yourself to them now. Let them feel the chains that have bound them to sin, drop away... free them and accept them as Your own.