Relationships are a funny thing aren't they? They are like money... a necessary evil... at least that's my opinion. I am definitely one of those desert island people, I tend to isolate. But it wouldn't be long till I was craving relationships... and probably food and maybe coffee, but I digress. I am kinda mouthy though, you might have noticed. It's not that I want the attention (as every one of the facebook quizzes I've taken says I do :) it's more that I want the interaction and I will constantly put myself out there in order to draw... the good and the bad, I suppose. Do you feel like me? Like you are not just one person? Like you're an introvert and an extrovert? The prom queen and the burnout? The parent and the child? I think we all fall into those categories. We are not so one dimensional.
So because of the incredibly funny jokes I am always telling and my extremely hilarious nature, I am sometimes stepping on toes... the last thing I would ever want to do, believe me! Why? Cause that would cause rejection which in turn shuts down the interaction process... see? It makes sense in a way :) I have had 2 people drop me from their friends list (both from church... ouch!) And another person blocked me before he ever added me... now that one confounded me! Yeah... that one could have stung a lot, but I think I figured it out... had to do with some "arranged wedding" jokes I made about 3 years back. I have made those a thousand times concerning all my kids, but I think he might have thought I was gonna try and harm his relationship with his fiancee. Pffffft! Whatev, right? (At least I'm learning to take on that attitude the older I get.)
It is SOOO easy to step on others toes and to have yours stepped on in return. The Bible says not to be easily offended... easier said than done though. Forgiveness is probably the most important thing in the Christians life... following love of course, but who would offer forgiveness without love? Sometimes I feel like I have been mad at Paul for over two decades. (Fun for him, I know you're thinking :) But you know, it's all that crazy man stuff. Like, why'd he get mad at me when he left this morning when I was going out of my way to help him? and... remember 12 years ago when he didn't get me an anniversary present? and... what about 18 years ago when... Ha! Yes, the list goes on and on. How does a marriage survive without forgiveness? For that matter how does a friendship survive... or even a church which is basically a giant pot of relationships.
I am sorry, if I've ever hurt any of you. I wont go so far as to say that my motives have always been pure and my heart always righteous... but I do know that if I did hurt you, then I shouldn't have, and I hope we can be free from my mistakes. I want you to know that I am trying to forgive you too... it's not easy. I am a grudge holder. I am one of those people who just wants to laugh and cry with you and if you turn your back on that... I tend to hold on to that hurt. I'm sorry. I know that God isn't finished with me yet... and in saying that, I know that doesn't free me from the responsibility to let go of my grievances... each and every one. I think of one thing, over and over again... we cannot avoid one another in Heaven. WE WILL BE HUMBLED IN THAT PLACE. It may make the process a little easier if we start getting over ourselves now. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... lets not give up on one another. There's most likely a reason we're in each other's lives.