Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Dream about it every night and day, spread my wings and then I fly away....

I went to a women's retreat last weekend. I didn't want to go... I am becoming a little more Hughes'ish than one should be. It's funny how God steers you into those things... kinda like that shepherd with his hook and that little lamb. I simply approached Paul who was standing by some friends and didn't even realize that I was standing next to the sign up table. Shoot! My sweet friends were like, "Beth, you gotta come, have you signed up yet?" I didn't stand a chance against the two of them. I got so nervous realizing I had run out of excuses that I didn't notice (till I looked crazy) that I was playing with my hair like that freaky woman who has to "one up" everyone on SNL.

When Paul and I first got married, he would come home at night and he would open the front door, only to see me suspended on the door by my fingernails... I wanted out! I wonder how it is that we go through such changes in this life... the pendulum swings so far one way then the other. I am always sharing with Paul the funny stories and interactions I have had on Facebook that day... he teases me and says, "You know it's not real." "But it is," I argue. It's sort of like souls without bodies... kinda like Heaven if you think about it (only with cursing, anger, rudeness, quizzes and the like.) Of course we're supposed to have new bodies there... yet we're spirit... all I know is the only scale there will be the scale of justice and that will be thrown out when Jesus enters the room! There's a great book about Heaven and what it will be like... it's entitled "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. In the first three chapters he defends what he believes, mostly for all the biblical scholars, so it's a bit dry, but if you can get past that... it's a lot of good stuff to ponder for sure!

People picture Heaven as a boring, cloudy, floaty kinda place, but it's not... it's gonna be a solid, beautiful place. Earth redone many say. Surfing without the sharks, skydiving without the parachutes... (or the ker-splat), climbing Mt. Everest without the lack of oxygen and the life threatening temperatures. But besides the earthly ideals... God will be there. That loving, fatherly Creator Who has been so in love with you since before you were born that He was willing to suffer incredible pain and loss in order to hold you close to Him. I have never wanted anything more than I want this... to be with Him in that place. To feel beautiful and loved when He looks at me and not embarrassed or ashamed of my humanness.

At this women's conference they reminded me that I am not my own. I was bought with a price. People bought a century ago were bought as slaves... to be used and abused. People bought now are purchased as sex slaves, to be used and abused. Again, His is a Kingdom upside down... I was bought and marked. To use Christianese, I was saved... but not just saved from Hell... saved from death. I was saved for something... I was reserved for a better place! My position is saved for me. I have things to do when I get there. The things I was created for... I will not seclude in that place! I will not hide! I will laugh and dance, and sing and run and I'm pretty sure... I'm even gonna fly.


  1. I love you more and more every day. Our Father loved you as completely as He could ever love when he was creating you.

    You mentioned dancing. I mentioned in church last Sunday night about the 'new Footprints'. You know the story, two set of foot prints, one set of foot prints, then God was ask, 'but what were all those crazy footprints all over the place?' God said, 'that is when we were dancing'. Every one enjoyed the 'new' story but one person said (in jest) 'In a Baptist church?)
    I can't wait to dance in heaven. Maybe your dad won't step on my toes in Heaven :-)

  2. I like the part about not feeling embarrassed or ashamed about our humanness--that's that CS Lewis influence coming outta you. Till We Have Faces was an amazing read!!