I think I'm gonna get some more mileage out of my mom today. (You're welcome mom!) So the other day I shared how one of her good traits is that she doesn't really gossip. Now for a quirk... she has a hard time accepting... anything. She's been like this as long as I can remember. For example: She lives in the boonies in AZ. She loves her desert landscape, and the fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk kind of heat, but as with most things, you gotta take the good with the bad. There was a big ol' rattler on her porch the other day. It's illegal to kill them in AZ. (though if I had a gun, you'd be visiting me at the big house) so you have to call the fire dept. These young men came strait from a fire, and hauled off her devilish visitor. She proceeded to go out to lunch later in the day and saw the firemen eating there too. Whatever it is that drives her, caused her to reach in her wallet and try to hand these fellah's some cash. They can't/wont take it, so she thanked them again and went on her way.
I have many of my mom's qualities (and none of her cash) and I see this one most when it comes to Jesus. He tells me over and over that He loves me. He tries to draw me pictures so I can understand... like telling me that if I want to give my kids good gifts, imagine how He wants to bless me. He tells me I can't earn it... no matter how hard I try, it is His free gift to me... this love, this eternal life.
So why can't I just believe that?
What is wrong with me, that the Creator of the universe tells me He loves me and actually sends His son to take the punishment for MY sins, just so He can be with me forever... ME! Has He really seen my deceitfully wicked heart?! Does He really know the thoughts I went to bed with last night and woke up with this morning? Why would HE want ME?
Or does it matter?
Does it matter why... or should I just run to Him? You know how He says to come to Him like a child? Have you ever seen a kid get a new bike for Christmas? What do they do? They RUN to the gift! All smiles, arms open wide! Can you even imagine a kid saying,
"I really don't deserve this. Can I maybe do some chores to earn it?"
NO!!!! It's Christmas! He RUNS!!! He knows and believes that was given to him in love and that it's his to keep. God, help me be that kid. Help me learn to run to that bike and not look back!