I think I'm gonna get some more mileage out of my mom today. (You're welcome mom!) So the other day I shared how one of her good traits is that she doesn't really gossip. Now for a quirk... she has a hard time accepting... anything. She's been like this as long as I can remember. For example: She lives in the boonies in AZ. She loves her desert landscape, and the fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk kind of heat, but as with most things, you gotta take the good with the bad. There was a big ol' rattler on her porch the other day. It's illegal to kill them in AZ. (though if I had a gun, you'd be visiting me at the big house) so you have to call the fire dept. These young men came strait from a fire, and hauled off her devilish visitor. She proceeded to go out to lunch later in the day and saw the firemen eating there too. Whatever it is that drives her, caused her to reach in her wallet and try to hand these fellah's some cash. They can't/wont take it, so she thanked them again and went on her way.
I have many of my mom's qualities (and none of her cash) and I see this one most when it comes to Jesus. He tells me over and over that He loves me. He tries to draw me pictures so I can understand... like telling me that if I want to give my kids good gifts, imagine how He wants to bless me. He tells me I can't earn it... no matter how hard I try, it is His free gift to me... this love, this eternal life.
So why can't I just believe that?
What is wrong with me, that the Creator of the universe tells me He loves me and actually sends His son to take the punishment for MY sins, just so He can be with me forever... ME! Has He really seen my deceitfully wicked heart?! Does He really know the thoughts I went to bed with last night and woke up with this morning? Why would HE want ME?
Or does it matter?
Does it matter why... or should I just run to Him? You know how He says to come to Him like a child? Have you ever seen a kid get a new bike for Christmas? What do they do? They RUN to the gift! All smiles, arms open wide! Can you even imagine a kid saying,
"I really don't deserve this. Can I maybe do some chores to earn it?"
NO!!!! It's Christmas! He RUNS!!! He knows and believes that was given to him in love and that it's his to keep. God, help me be that kid. Help me learn to run to that bike and not look back!
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Romans 9:11
ReplyDeleteFor the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;
Yes, of course we should just run!
ReplyDeleteBut there's that question you asked, "does it matter why?" (questioning whether He would want you, especially since He knows you). Gave me much to ponder...
Just this a.m. I was studying the passage in Matthew 17 (specifically verse 20). The phrase "little faith" of course being unbelief. I discovered something that I think will forever change my thinking! I did some digging and found out the Greek word for unbelief in this portion of scripture is "APISTIAN". Stay with me here! You know we so often lose the impact of scripture when it's translated to our English language...those Greek and Hebrew words have so much more depth and scope. The definition of APISTIAN (unbelief) is: "not worthy of confidence, UNTRUSTWORTHY". WOW! I've always "known" that unbelief is a sin...for the Bible tells me so. BUT, this gave it new impact and me greater understanding. When I can't believe that God would want me (when He clearly says He does) or I have areas of un- or dis- belief, I'm not just saying to Him "How can You?", I'm really saying (in my disbelief), "You aren't trustworthy". YIKES! That's radical!
Okay, I'm done. Going back into my nerdy hole with my study Bible. But at least I'm going back changed. Whew!
Thanks for this blog entry...I loved it and love you! (It may say anonymous, but I know YOU know who I am!)
Thank you Beth Moore. Yes, I know who you are :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for that... that is some good stuff to dwell on!!!
I so love the simple lessons that take me to a real place in life to tie me to a spiritual place that I really need to be! Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder why ME as well!!!! Faith!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say, is awesome and very real. I continue to marvel that "I am here for a special reason," and whatever path that I am on, is planned. Very mind-blowing and surreal! Thank you again for sharing! Blessings!
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