Thursday, October 18, 2012

High Five

Love languages. Have you heard of them? Supposedly there are five ways we humans give and receive love. Most of us have a leaning towards one specific one or maybe even a mixture of a few. They are as listed: Words of affection, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. My need has been the same since I was a little girl, quality time. If I love someone and they don't have time for me, I subconsciously put up walls. I do it so that I wont feel the sting of rejection. But when someone I care about gives me their time and attention, I fall quickly. I told my husband this a thousand times, that my love language is time and attention, it seems like it might finally be sinking in. I will be patient a while longer... see where it takes us.

Why do we have such a hard time giving others what they so desperately need? It's not in our nature. It is however in our nature to work to get what we need, but not to give, clearly that goal becomes counter intuitive. Were we to focus on others needs, ours would eventually get met... at some point... if we're faithful... somewhere... hopefully... down the line.

It's quite the task, loving others. My oldest daughter and I have never been able to communicate well. Even when she was little there was an abundance of arguing. I would see her in her bed and go hold her while she slept cause it seemed like the only way I could bypass the fighting to get close to her. It's still like that now, we just can't seem to communicate, but I think we both know that despite the battles, we love each other very much.

Do you suppose we really don't understand what those closest to us need or do you think we are simply unwilling to give it? My fear is that with anyone I have a relationship with, that I will wait too long to give them what it is they need most. Whether it be that they grow up and leave home, or maybe they just move out of my life and I never see them again. Friendships die... people die... life is short and the thought that words could have been said and time could have been given, yet weren't... makes me very sad.

Sometimes we give ourselves away in too many different places, to people we were not intended to give ourselves to. It's then that we find ourselves spread to thin, with too little to offer. As I've shared before, I have this hope that Heaven will be like a big family picnic... only the potato salad can sit in the sun all day. Heaven's cool like that... and the things we never said, or the people we didn't have time for, will be accessible, and the walls we put up will be torn down, and we wont speak with our mouths, but with our hearts.

As always "must have hope" refers to my only hope. My hope that a heart can be stolen back from the pit of despair, that there is a better world awaiting. If your world seems void of love today, I encourage you to focus on someone who is in need of love. Figure out their love language... and while your at it find out your own.

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