So yesterday I decided I had to get out of the house... I have been cooped up here too long, but my 18 y/o (who is the babysitter in this story) had plans for the day and it looked like there was no hope for my escape. All of the sudden I realized (boing!) that I didn't have to go anywhere... in the car anyway. I was like... "I am leaving this house if I have to go through a window, but I am out of here!" So my sweet child # 2 told me to go for it and I went on a walk. Now of course I can go on a walk anytime, but during the middle of the day when everyone has events going on... it just hadn't occurred to me. I think of it as more of an evening thing and there's always the stinkers in tow making it impossible to do anything briskly. But out I went alone and it just happened to be my favorite weather in the whole world!
I love wind!!! Wind is one of God's most awesome creations! I could stand in it for hours... and if it's a little cold and the suns not burning my eyes... Heaven on earth and that was yesterday... so I started walking... briskly. Freedom! (William Wallace impression.) I was just me... with my own thoughts in my own special place... awesome. I was practically dancing by the time I got home. I shared earlier that when I was in high school joy was driving in the Tuscon foothills with my windows down and the radio on... singing and feeling that wind on my face. Loved it! But when we get older, we start wanting all things opposite from out youth. We want out of that car... we want out of the crowds... we want our naps back!!! I am coming out of a cocoon that I have been in for a few years now and I feel alive again.
Nothing is new under the sun. We all go through the appropriate highs and lows as we live each decade. We are young and want to be grown, we are teens and we want to be free, we are in our 20's and we want to be tethered, in our 30's we want to get it right, 40's we want to make it through... and you will have to fill in the blanks for me from there... but we are never new under the sun. Never. There is no trial you are experiencing that hasn't been lived through by a million others (no matter what fashion that is.) There is no circumstance that hasn't been foreseen. That really gets to me... God knew I was going to be going through this ... now?! Crazy. I think something snapped in me a few months ago. There was a lot of pressure and problems keeping me from staying afloat and it just seems like I snapped... ha! Kinda funny... but I don't feel like the same person I was... and God knew that!!! Fortunately, HE stays the same.
The answers to all the questions are in His hand and he wont forsake me... or you. No matter what changes life may bring... He foreknew and a He will never forsake. If I can wrap my mind around those two things... I just might make it through. He foreknew and He will never forsake. Every success and every failure I might have, He saw the day He created me and the day He died on the cross for my sins... and He still chose to do both. We are not mistakes... we are loved... we must grasp this to live life fully. Life is good... walk briskly!