Hope to cope.

Does anyone remember Pinky and the Brain? It was a cartoon in the late 90's. It was about an evil-genius mouse who was tiny in size, but whose head was freakishly large. He sounded like James Mason... he was Brain. He had an assistant mouse... tall, skinny, cockney accent, hugely lacking in intellect... he was Pinky. Every episode ended with the duo failing in there evil scheme to blow something up or what have you. And they would repeat the same mantra every time.

Pinky: What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?
Brain: Same thing we do every night Pinky, try to destroy the world!

We have two dogs. Charlie is half basset, half beagle. We "adopted" him from Happy Tails. This dog is Brain. We took Baby, our chocolate lab, (black in color) from some friends who were trying to find homes for around 13 of them. Baby has cost us $14,ooo worth of damage at least. This dog is Pinky. When they are free in the back yard together, Brain somehow incites Pinky to chew through the fence, then they run around the neighborhood destroying things. Luckily, only one neighbor has complained. She frightens me. We tried EVERYTHING to keep them in, including Paul spending two days in the pouring rain putting some kind of chicken wire around the bottom of the fence, but they would find a way through that too.

One day I came home after some heavy duty sinus surgery. I wasn't even supposed to be driving. Getting home alive, without throwing up was a feat, to say the least. I just wanted to lay down before I collapsed. When I pulled into the driveway, I could see the stuffing pulled out of the neighbors patio cushions and spread ALL over their yard. I had to clean it up of course. I repeatedly bent over causing the blood to flow out of my nose into my bandage and as I finished, another neighbor (scary lady, not the people who owned the cushions) came out and started yelling at me. I told her I was so sorry, that we would pay for the damage, that we were doing everything possible to keep them in. Nothing I said appeased her. She was very upset. The fact that my eyes were rolling back in my head and blood was pouring out of my face didn't seem to concern her much at all.

It was just one of those months. Everyone needed money, bill collectors... everyone. We didn't have any. Paul and I hadn't really had a chance to speak... (for 20 years... kids n' stuff.) After my sinus surgery, Lily had surgery on her ears. Anything that could go wrong did. It was overwhelming. Wow... just one of those months.

I tell you all that 'cause we have about 12 of those months, every year, for well over 20 years. There is an old song called, "Life is hard, but God is good." I really don't know how people survive without the Lord. If I didn't have God to bring my worries, fears, doubts, hurts, failures, and sins to... where would I go? Would I hold it all inside? Hire a professional to listen to me talk? What if I had a really close friend, or a spouse who helped me deal with all those things... would they always be here for me... 24/7? Seriously, I don't know how I would survive a month like this if I couldn't tell Him I was falling apart and ask Him to step in and carry me through.

We got a zip line and put Pinky on it. She doesn't seem to mind. She likes routine. It has taken away Brain's ability to get out of the yard. We haven't solved our money issues. The IRS alone wants almost as much money from us as we made in our third year of marriage. But we are still going. I never know what the answers will be. I do know the trials will always be here. They'll come and go, some will be inflicted by self, some by others... but they'll always be here. I have no hope to cope outside of God's unfailing love. That's why we build our house on the rock and not the sand. They can take the house, but they can't shake the rock on which I stand.