It's a Spirit thing.

Why does God ask us to give things up? It seems like we're just hummin' along, doing alright for ourselves, then all of the sudden, we hear that still small voice. When we ignore it, it gets louder and louder. Ugh. And when it does... we tend to take a persecuted stance. Like, "Wait a minute God! This is all I've got! If You'd have given me something else to work with then fine, but this is all I've got." We get the attitude Adam had in the garden. "It was the woman, Lord." "It's because of You, Lord." Truth is, I'm scared of God. :) I know that sounds right to some and wrong to others. But the Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I have to know that He holds my life in His hands, all while trusting Him to be merciful and good.

Sometimes child # 4 doesn't want to go to school. (She's been getting a lot of air time cause she's little and all the best lessons come when your little.) Sometimes, she really hates school, and guess who makes her go? I do. I clean and dress and feed her and send her on her way... in her estimation, like a lamb to the slaughter. How could a loving mother make her do something she hates? Because I can see over her head. I have been 6 and I have been 40. I know there's no way she could stay afloat in this world and not have the teachings and experiences an education brings.

It's funny how God allows you to struggle with some things for years. Kinda like... "We'll get to that, you're not yet ready." And other things He just snaps up in a day like... "Oh no! Not My child! Open your hand and let that go NOW!" When we're holding on to something we shouldn't... we're never in a place where we're praying and in the Word. But what's so interesting is all that studying we did for years comes into play. Oh you can't turn left without hearing a scripture in your head that pertains to your situation. That's why it's so important to study the Word. Someday... when you're not so strong... when God let's go of that bike seat and follows closely by... when he slips His hand away and you're dog paddling on your own... you're gonna need those words in your heart to steady you and keep your head above water.

I'm actually quite blessed to know my flesh wont be around for long. I'm a "Big Picture" person... always have been. I'm all about Heaven, yet I still never wanna let go of the thing that is pleasing my flesh (like Paul said why do I do the things I don't want to do?) But ultimately I want to hold on to something more... something that lasts... something eternal. I wanna hold my Daddy's hand. I want what I was created for. So today, child # 4 is being schooled... and so is her Mommy.