I went 3.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

Humans are procrastinators by nature. We are quite open to admitting the things we need to do, it's just setting the date that we tend to waffle on. As a whole, we're kind of like that man who gives a promise ring instead of an engagement ring. "I'm going to start that diet after the holidays." Kind of ambiguous considering the entire future of all time exists after the holidays. Can you imagine if we were to do that with every situation in our lives? Take dentistry... you get a cavity, you know you have a cavity, but you put it off for what ever reason until a later date. The problem is, decay doesn't pause until you make the phone call.

My spiritual life has been "on pause" for about 3 years now... waiting for me to figure out what to do with my life. Of course it didn't stay where I left it... it's the whole "good dog/bad dog" thing. Which ever dog you feed more is the dog that gains strength. By a gift from God, I was able to quit drinking. The hard part wasn't as much in the stopping as it is in the not going back. When times get hard... too hard, I am tempted, but I am learning to reach out during those times cause it is in isolation I find my greatest weakness. However another vice still holds me in its grips, smoking. I just started reading a book on stopping and I am hopeful. The funny thing is, it tells you not to even attempt stopping until you've finished the book. I imagine every one who's ever read the book reads that stipulation and breaths a little cough of relief.

We want to give up our vices, we just don't want to do it at the moment. There's always time... in the future... unless you're a Mayan. And if you are, there are a few questions some people would like to ask you. I'm not a fan of country music. A kid at work asked me why the other day and I had to stop and think about it. I guess it's just the sound... it's kinda whiny, which makes sense considering that's what the lyrics tend to do. There are a few good songs though, not to bash the whole group. One I actually love talks about a man getting advice from his father who is on his death bed.

***
He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."
***

It's a powerful song and it preaches by not preaching at all. The best sermons don't tell you to get off your couch and do something. They say 'I got off my couch, and this is what I did.' It's so opposite of our "there's always tomorrow" society. I have a long way to go in life. I have a lot of vices to overcome. I have a lot of decisions to make... a lot of mountains to climb. I don't want to beat myself up for the valleys I've lived through, because life is full of valleys, and after all, I did survive them. The greatest failure would be to give up and build my house in one. If I keep moving, I'm succeeding and that's what matters most, not where I've been, but where I'm going. I may be at the base of a mountain, but all I know is, I'm not alone.

Psalm 103:13-17

As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
For he knows how we were made; he remembers that we are dust.
As for mortals, their days are like grass; they flourish like a flower of the field; 
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,